A friend of mine asked me what girls like in guys. To help him out, I wrote this. Keep in mind it's only one girl's perspective, although I think it would speak for most. I'm sure there are things that could be added. Girls and guys, please comment with your thoughts.
Girls like guys who are:
Respectful
Courteous, polite. Don't make dirty jokes, talk about, or stare at other women when she's around. Make it clear you are interested in her mind and spirit and her as a person, not just her body. Extend this courtesy to everyone you interact with, including waiters and other service people, not just the girl you're trying to impress. Respect her when she says “no”. Don't take things beyond where she's willing to go.
Gentlemen
This embodies a whole mindset that sees yourself as the protector and defender of women. Yes, that's old-fashioned, not feminist, and not popular, but get over it. I like this, and I think most women do too, unless they're totally wrapped up in feminist rhetoric. Practically, it works out to things like opening doors, allowing her to go first, paying for your date, helping her out with moving things, etc, etc. If a guy isn't like this, for me, he will never go beyond friend status. Even if I'm not interested in him as more than a friend, I still immensely appreciate it and he will definitely be a much better friend and closer to me.
This doesn't mean you think she is weak, incapable, unintelligent or unequal. It doesn't mean you do her thinking or decision-making for her.
Well-groomed
Shower. Wear cologne. Shave. Be neat. Cut your hair well. Use gum or breath mints. Dress nicely. It doesn't mean you have to be a high-maintenance metrosexual; that personally turns me off. But girls like it when guys make an effort to be clean, well-dressed, and physically appealing. You don't have to go over the top, just make a decent effort. It makes you nicer to be around. This isn't at the top of my list, but it's a definite plus.
Confident
This doesn't mean cocky or arrogant. It means self-possessed, not shy, confident in who you are as a person. It means you can take the risk of asking a girl out and not be devastated if she says no. It means you're willing to step forward and play the part of a man in a relationship without being intimidated or waiting for the girl to take the initiative. It means you are a well-balanced person who likes yourself, without being self-absorbed. It means you are able to take an interest in other people and not hide in your shell. You don't get obsessed or creepy about a girl; you have your own life and are self-sufficient as a person when she's not around.
Thoughtful
You remember the little touches. If a girl expresses a liking for something, you might get it for her as a gift to surprise her. You listen to what she says and remember it, especially the important things. You notice her outfit, hair, or accessories and comment positively.
Appreciative
Make it clear that you appreciate and admire her and really like being with her. Pay full attention to her when she talks. Be with her, not distracted by other things when she's around. Compliment her good qualities. Express how positive she makes you feel. Everybody likes this: it's a huge self-esteem boost.
Available
You like hanging out with her and make an effort to do so. You call her, text her, write to her, comment on her Facebook wall, whatever. You're in touch. You let her know what your plans are. I'm not talking about stalking her, I'm talking about when you're in a relationship or interested in her, you're all there. You don't hold her at arms' length and keep her guessing.
Interesting
Speaking personally, I really like guys who have a wide variety of talents and interests. I particularly like it when someone is multi-dimensional, with interests or hobbies I wouldn't expect. I like it when guys read and think about things and are constantly learning. It makes them, well, interesting. It means you have things to talk about, and you will not be short of fun things to do with a girl. Girls like it when guys can discuss things like current events, philosophy, art, music, etc. Even if they're things she isn't personally into, someone who is passionate and knowledgeable about something is attractive. It doesn't mean you have to be an expert on every subject, just have things that you like and are good at. It's a sign of a healthy and well-balanced mind.
If you have friends and are well-liked, that's a definite plus. I'm attracted to people whom other people like. It's pretty simple, if a guy has a good friend set he's been loyal to, it's a good indication of who he is as a person. He's able to make and maintain relationships.
Caring
Girls love it when guys show that they genuinely care about them. This means things like listening and listening well. Ask her questions to draw her out. Notice and pick up on any clues she might drop. Empathize with what she's expressing. Express sympathy when appropriate. Give a girl a hug or a back rub when she's feeling down.
When she's sad or upset, don't be afraid or uncomfortable, tell her to “get over it”, or just provide a solution. Don't judge or criticize, tell her she “shouldn't” be feeling that way, or imply that she's crazy, unbalanced, high-maintenance, or unreasonable.
Girls want and need to feel safe emotionally, that guys aren't “freaked out” by how they feel, and that they can be themselves even when their emotions are fragile. They need to be reassured that they won't chase you away by expressing “negative” feelings. They need to know you will reach out to them even when they're not making you feel good. They need to feel they can rely on you when things aren't going well. They need to feel that you understand, or at least try your best to understand and ask for clarification when you don't. They need to feel they have space to work out problems without being interrupted, ignored, or given a solution to shut them up. A girl may want suggestions for dealing with problems, but only when she feels she's been heard, understood, and sympathized with first.
Another way of expressing caring is to help a girl practically. Girls love it when guys fix things, move things, help them out with things. It really adds to that feeling of being “safe” and loved.
Reliable
This speaks for itself. It's a big one for me. It means you do what you say you will do, be where you say you will be when you say you will be, help when you say you will. If for some reason you absolutely can't, you do your darndest to let her know as soon as possible, come up with a backup plan, and apologize profusely. A girl can't trust a guy who proves that his word can't be counted on.
Secure and enabling
Women appreciate men who appreciate them for who they are. It means you're not jealous, controlling, needy or possessive. You like her to have other friends and interests. You don't try to dominate or monopolize her time. You support and appreciate her work, hobbies, and talents. You allow her to bloom as a person, not as an extension of yourself. You don't try to control or change her. You don't freak out if she has guy friends (I have a lot of guy friends, and I'm not going to drop them if I have a boyfriend. I'm with you, I want to be with you, so don't worry).
Communicative
Enough of the strong, silent man stereotype. I don't want a guy who represses, suppresses, ignores, or denies his emotions and thoughts. I want to understand your mind, your heart, your feelings, your goals and dreams. I want a relationship. I want someone I can talk to about the deeper things of life, the world, and what's going on inside. I want someone who faces, thinks through, and expresses his issues, hopes, temptations. I want someone who trusts me enough to open up. There's nothing like it for drawing people closer. Sex or relationship without emotional intimacy is meaningless.
Safe
This might sum everything up. Women have a need for a place that feels safe, and a man can provide that. It means that you care, you express affection openly, you can be counted on, you allow her to express her thoughts and emotions freely, you protect and defend her, provide for her, and will be there through good and bad. Obviously as a human you're fallible, and you will disappoint, but you aim for this. You're the “rock” in the relationship, as I recently heard it expressed. Put negatively, it means you don't lose your temper with her, you aren't physically or emotionally abusive or distant, you aren't moody and unpredictable.
So those are my thoughts. Anyone have anything to add to this?