This is a topic that’s been very much on my mind lately, mainly because of the number of people I know who are affected by it. If you’re not a Christian and you’re reading this, please feel free to stop now. You might be unnecessarily offended, since this is addressed to Christians.

For single people (not just Christians), the issue of dating, marriage, and sex is one of the single biggest issues we face. The drive for romance, companionship, and sexual fulfillment is one of the strongest drives any human being experiences. In fact, it’s a significant part of what it means to be human. God created us this way; it’s not wrong, it’s perfectly normal.

For Christians, this drive is further compounded by the fact that (usually) we want to do God’s will. We can’t simply go out and sleep with or date or marry anyone we please; we are supposed to keep this desire subjected to the Lordship of Jesus Christ and the control of the Holy Spirit.

Because of sin, this desire faces frustration. In an unsinful, non-fallen world, presumably we’d all be provided mates, as Adam was Eve, and live in perfect, harmonious relationships. As we all know, this doesn’t happen! People who want to be married live long, frustrated years as singles. You find someone you believe to be “the one”, only to have the relationship end in heartbreak. People who get married experience grief in their relationships. Spouses die. They leave. They cheat. And so on.

We face further problems because our judgment is subject to sin. In this area more than any other, Christians seem especially prone to self-delusion. I believe that’s because the desire is so basic, so strong, so deeply implanted, and the drive to fulfill it is so urgent, that if we are not very careful, it is extremely easy to fall into sin and error. Unless we are controlled by the word of God and the Holy Spirit, and his will is more important than our own desires, we can very easily go astray.

Two of the most common mistakes I see Christians making in the area of relationships are: 1, dating non-Christians; and 2, having sex outside of marriage. (Obviously, there are other problems, but these are the ones I'm most concerned about).

Both of these are things God is clearly against. He says:

“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: ‘I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people. Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you. I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.'" (2 Corinthians 6:14-18, emphasis added)

“The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, ‘The two will become one flesh.’ But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit.

“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.” (1 Corinthians 6:13-20, emphasis added)

In both passages the argument is the same. God is saying that he, by his Holy Spirit, has actually come to live within us! Our bodies are the temple of the living God. He owns them. Jesus died and rose again to purchase us for himself. How dare we take that temple, this body that God lives in, and join it with those who don't know God or sexually with anyone outside of marriage? We don’t have that right. It’s his!

In another passage dealing with sexual immorality, Paul makes this analogy:

“Your boasting is not good. Don't you know that a little yeast works through the whole batch of dough? Get rid of the old yeast that you may be a new batch without yeast—as you really are. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed. Therefore let us keep the Festival, not with the old yeast, the yeast of malice and wickedness, but with bread without yeast, the bread of sincerity and truth.” (1 Corinthians 5:6-8)

Paul is talking here about the purity of the body of Christ. In the Bible, yeast is often used as a symbol of sin. Just as yeast spreads throughout the whole batch of dough and affects it all, sin does the same in the church. Paul uses this analogy in the context of putting someone who has sinned sexually outside of the fellowship. He was serious, and we are to be serious, about the purity of Jesus’ holy bride. He says elsewhere:

“But among you there must not be even a HINT of sexual immorality….” (Ephesians 5:3, emphasis added)

I’ve had people justify their relationships with non-Christians (often sexual ones) by telling me that “God told them” to be in that relationship. I’m going to be totally honest with you: no he didn’t. God is not going to tell you something that directly contradicts his clear command in Scripture. Yes, he speaks to us personally. But when he does, it is in line with his word and does not go against his clearly-spoken will.

It is so easy for us to be mistaken about hearing God’s voice. It is so easy to allow our feelings to influence and control what we think God is saying. Let me put it this way: if we want something very strongly, we will naturally interpret everything we “hear” from God to be in favour of that thing. I’ve done it myself. I have wanted something and thought God was telling me it was his will, only to find out that I was mistaken. It is the fruit of it that allows you to tell the difference. God’s subjective spoken word to us will never go against his objective, plain word in Scripture.

In addition, those who engage in sexual relationships outside of marriage face God’s judgment:

“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” (Hebrews 13:4)

“Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.” (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)

Is that to say there’s no forgiveness? Of course there is. We are prone to sin and to failure. If we confess our sins to God and are genuinely repentant, yes, he forgives. If we forsake the thing we are doing, he will restore us. However, we will have to face the hard consequences of our sin. Some of these may include:

• heartbreak from failed relationships

• grief over giving ourselves sexually in ways and to people we were not supposed to
• hurting others around us/destroying friendships, particularly if the relationship is adulterous
• distance between ourselves and God
• loss on the day of judgement

Do we really want to face God’s judgment? Do we really want to grieve him? Do we really want to put distance between ourselves and him? If we’re thinking about it rationally, we would say no. But in the heat of the moment and the attraction you’re feeling to that person, it’s easy to justify what you’re doing and to twist or forget what God says.

This is an area in which the church as a whole is called to live up to God’s standards of purity, but in which I believe it has largely failed. Paul tells us:

“I have written you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people—not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat.

"What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. ‘Expel the wicked man from among you.’" (1 Corinthians 5:9-13)

Does that sound serious? Yes, it is. Does it sound harsh and “contrary to grace”? Only if we have a very warped understanding of grace. The church, and Christians as individuals, can’t expect God’s presence and blessing if we’re tolerating corporately or individually sin that God clearly forbids. We can’t expect Jesus to dwell among us, or with us, if we’re grieving him so radically. We can’t afford to ignore this issue, either in our churches, our own lives, or our friends’ lives, if we’re serious about wanting to follow Jesus. His standards are clear. He demands no compromise. If we really care about others' spiritual well-being, we will be serious about confronting them and helping them out of this kind of sin.

God wants us. He is passionate about us as his Bride and as his holy people. He longs for a close, intimate, and exclusive relationship with us. He longs to be able to shine his glory through us to the world around us. He longs to have a pure nation, representing him on this earth, living in holiness, living in love with one another and with him. That's his desire!

The bottom line is, do we want fellowship with God? Do we want others to have fellowship with God? If we don't, and we want to follow our own desires, we can do whatever we want. Just don't claim to be following Jesus. If we do, then we must be serious about doing whatever it takes.

If you’re in a relationship with a non-Christian, or a “Christian” who isn’t following Jesus 100%, break it off. If you’re sleeping with them, break it off even more quickly. If you’re sexually involved with someone who’s a “Christian”, stop it. Now. Ask God’s forgiveness; humble yourself before him. Seek accountability with someone who will keep you honest. Seek to live a life of purity and contentment in Jesus, and trust him to meet those needs that seem so strong.

Our sexual and romantic needs are not our most important ones: our relationship with God is. Trust him to satisfy the longings of your soul, and to bring you a far deeper joy than the things you're forsaking, which are making you spiritually sick. Seek intimacy with him, and fellowship with others, that will give you a life of purpose and contentment. Remember that he has said:

"Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?" (Hebrews 13:5-6)

My recent job situation has got me thinking a lot about topics like justice, grace, mercy, and law. Don't ask me why, because it would take too long, and I won't go into it here.

But today I was thinking about justice and mercy. Specifically, I was thinking about those things in terms of God.

What I was thinking was this: what if God was the kind of God who kept track of all of your faults? What if he made a record of them, brought them up to your face when you tried to approach him, and refused to forgive you? What if he forced you to live with all the consequences, both in this life and eternally?

I'd be screwed, that's what. In the face of God's perfect justice, we'd all be screwed.

One of the Psalmists knew this fact thousands of years ago:

"If you, O LORD, kept a record of sins,
O Lord, who could stand?" (Psalm 130:3)

The answer is: no one. No one could stand.

Much later, quoting another Psalm, the apostle Paul wrote, "there is no one who does good, not even one." (Romans 3:12)

Not only that, there's no escaping God's justice:

"Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows." (Galatians 6:7)

So what then? I'm really, really glad that the flipside is that God is not only a God of justice, he's a God who delights in mercy. That Psalmist went on to say:

"But with you there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared." (Psalm 130:4)

God has the right to condemn everyone to hell. He'd have the right if he wanted right now to send the whole world up in flames—whoosh—like a sort of cosmic pyrotechnics show. But he doesn't. Why?

Because he'd rather show mercy.

The whole giant, great, grand, good news of the gospel, which I am so grateful for because without it I would be screwed, is that God chooses to show mercy. To people who don't deserve it. To people who scorn, mock, and reject it. To people like us.

Probably the best-known verse in the Bible is this: "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him." (John 3:16-17)

That's it. Case closed. We can pack up and go home. That's everything, in a nutshell.

Why? Why did God do it?

If you've been a Christian for a long time, and/or grown up in a Christian home, it's really easy to take it for granted. To view it as a sort of divine obligation, a kind of religious of-course. Well yes, we're sinners, and we deserve hell, but God sent his Son and he died on the cross and...

It's mind-bendingly astonishing that the God of the universe chose to send his only Son as a man to live among us, suffer, and finally die bearing the full penalty for the things we'd done wrong against HIM, things we fully deserved to die for. All so we could be reconciled back to God and have relationship with him and live with him eternally.

Another sort of nutshell verse puts it like this:

"God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." (2 Corinthians 5:21)

There's nothing more astonishing than that. There's nothing more gratitude-inducing, more praise-inspiring, more worship-worthy, more give-your-life-worthy, than that. We'll spend all of eternity praising and worshiping God for it.

That justice thing? You can still have it. If you want it. All you have to do is to refuse God's mercy. All you have to do is not believe it. All you have to do is walk away from it and refuse to accept it. You'll get his justice.

But he'd rather you had his mercy.

Peter says,

"The Lord....is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." (2 Peter 3:9)

In the face of his mercy, all we can do is humbly accept. All we can do is drink it in like rain. All we can do is admit our inability to get it right ourselves, and accept his forgiveness.

This verse hit me really strongly today:

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9)

That's a shining light to walk by.

When I was a fairly young Christian, I had the idea in my mind, however subconsciously, that being a Christian meant that God was obligated to protect me from suffering. If he didn't, either he didn't love me, or I had failed him somehow. When I went through suffering, I quickly and easily questioned my faith and my relationship with God. I withdrew from him and grew angry and bitter. Sometimes I cursed him.

I don't think I'm alone in that. I believe my experience is common to many Christians, as well as unbelievers. The biggest reason many people give for not believing in God is suffering in the world. People are slow to thank God for their blessings, quick to blame him for their agonies. God could have prevented this, they cry. If he is good, why would he allow this to happen?

Those are difficult questions. I know, because I've asked them myself. I don't pretend there's an easy answer. I believe there is an answer, but not the one most people want to hear.

The reality of the Christian life is not triumphalism: protection from all suffering, failure and pain. The reality of the Christian life is grace in the midst of suffering.

God did not spare his own Son from pain. Jesus was called "a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering" (Isaiah 53:3). The man whom many consider the greatest Christian who ever lived, the Apostle Paul, lived closely with suffering throughout his career (2 Corinthians 11:23-29). Jesus and Paul both warned us that suffering would be a normal part of the Christian life.

Paul was tormented by a "thorn in his flesh", from which he cried out that God would deliver him. God's response, however, was: "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:9)

A good summary of the Christian life: God's power in human frailty.

A striking apparent contradiction hit me when I was reading Luke recently. Jesus is warning his disciples about coming persecution:

But before all this, they will lay hands on you and persecute you....You will be betrayed even by parents, brothers, relatives and friends, and they will put some of you to death. All men will hate you because of me. But not a hair of your head will perish. (Luke 21:12, 16-18, emphasis added)

Some of you will be put to death? Not a hair of your head will perish?

The thing is, God's idea of deliverance looks very different to ours.

Our idea of deliverance is cessation of the trial, the temptation, the persecution.

God's idea of deliverance is his strength given to us to enable us to endure and to overcome. God's idea of deliverance is his grace, peace, and comfort in the middle of trial. God's idea of deliverance is standing fast, holding firm, remaining faithful to him despite the temptation to deny or abandon him. God's idea of deliverance is resisting sin and turning to him for the grace to obey instead.

Paul summed up this paradox well:

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. (2 Corinthians 4:7-10)

Especially in charismatic circles, we love teaching about grace. We love teaching about the Father's love. We love hearing that God loves us no matter what, and that he will forgive us no matter what. We often hear that there is nothing we can do to make God love us less, and nothing we can do to make him love us more.

All of this is true. But it is impossible to truly behold God, and to remain the same. As we gaze at his beautiful face, we are transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, by the Lord who is the Spirit (2 Corinthians 3:18).

When we see God, we no longer want sin. When we look upon his beauty, we no longer desire anything else. It is impossible to truly see him, and still want to hold onto sin and the world.

Our God is a consuming fire (Hebrews 12:29). He is both more loving and more holy than we can possibly imagine. It is impossible for him to tolerate sin. Even in his beloved children, his purpose is to purge it away with the fire of his holiness until we begin to resemble his likeness.

He does this so we can live in his presence. Nothing sinful or evil can live with him. We are purified so that we can be ready to hold more of his presence inside us, to carry that presence to the world around us, and eventually, to see him face to face. In heaven there will be no sin. In this life, we are on a journey toward that destination. As we grow closer and closer to him, he will cleanse away everything that does not resemble his holiness and righteousness.

This process is sometimes more difficult and painful than we can imagine. But once we have drunk of the waters of bitterness, he will give us the waters of his peace and his joy. We will rejoice in what the trials accomplish, for even when we cannot see his purpose, he is guiding us with his loving hand into and through them. When we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, he is with us. His hand holds ours the entire way.

I have known more of his presence, more of his joy, and heard his voice most often and most clearly, when I have gone through the deepest suffering.

Coincidence? I think not. And truly, in the end, it makes it all worth it. I wouldn't trade what I have gone through with God, what I have learned of him, and the closeness I've gained to him, for freedom from the suffering and pain. Even if sometimes in the middle of it, I've prayed for it to be taken away. He knows better, and he sees the end from the beginning.

This paradox is captured perfectly by Peter:

"In this [salvation] you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." (1 Peter 1:6-7)

"Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." (Hebrews 12:7-11)

This is an incredibly important and comforting passage, one that I return to again and again. (Actually, I'd recommend all of verses 1-13). It sheds light on the purpose for our suffering: it is not because God hates us or we are rejected by him, but rather the opposite: we are his chosen and dearly loved sons, and he is committed to doing whatever he can to deal with the sin in our lives and bring about his righteousness and holiness.

Just a quick list of some of the results of God's discipline:

• To deal with sin in our lives
• To make us more like Jesus
• To cause us to rely on him more
• To cause us to know him more

However, this doesn't have to happen. The difficulties in a non-believer's life don't have these results, and they don't have to in our lives either. The key factor is our response to God's discipline.

How do we respond to suffering in order to produce godly results?

The key really is faith. Here are some thoughts:

• Remember the Father's love. Remember Romans 8:28. Remember that he loves us deeply and that he has PROMISED to work everything out for our good, including this trial. His heart does not change when we go through suffering. Nothing can separate us from his love.
• Refuse to give in to the temptation to grow bitter and to blame God or grow angry at him. Trust his heart. Thank him, as much as you can, even for this trial. Worship him, as much as you can. Worship is a powerful force against the enemy. This doesn't mean denying the pain, it just means telling him you still believe he is good in spite of it. You can be honest with him about how you feel, and about how it doesn't seem to make sense. He is your Father.
• Don't give in to the temptation to believe that your suffering is random and/or meaningless. You are a child of the living God. Your trial has been ordained by his sovereign hand, for your good. It is not random, it is not meaningless, it is not purposeless. He knows the end and the beginning.
• Don't give in to the temptation to think "what if" or fantasize about how things could have been. Accept it as it is. Face it realistically, and don't attempt to numb the pain (an ungodly response). Grieve if you have to.
• Submit to God and resist the devil (James 4:7) Wait with patience for the trial to be over.
• Remember that it WILL have good results. Remember that no matter how painful it is now, the pain will pass and you will look back, understand it better, and thank God for it. Remember that the end result, should you choose to trust God and obey him through it, will be "a harvest of righteousness and peace".

"We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead." (The Apostle Paul, 2 Corinthians 1:8-9)

Abraham is called in Scripture "the father of all who believe" (Romans 4:11-12). What kind of faith did Abraham have?

He had faith that God would raise the dead. First of all, he believed that God would bring life from his and Sarah's dead and barren bodies, to give them the son that God had promised (Romans 4:19-21). Later, after that son had miraculously been born, he faced an even greater test when God demanded that he sacrifice him. Still, he didn't waver in his faith but believed that if necessary, God would raise Isaac from the dead (Hebrews 11:19).

God tells us that this is the faith that saves us. When we believe that God raised Jesus from the dead, he credits us his righteousness and our sins are forgiven (Romans 4:24, 10:9).

However, this faith goes far beyond salvation, as the example of the Apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians 1 tells us.

Many times as Christians we are faced with situations in our lives that seem like death. In fact, they are death: the death of our hopes, our dreams, our desires, our loves, our flesh. Many times they can seem excruciatingly painful, "far beyond our ability to endure," as Paul put it.

There is a Christian aphorism that goes like this, "God will never give you anything that you can't handle."

I don't believe that is true.

I believe that very often, God can and does allow things in our lives that we cannot handle, that are "far beyond our ability to endure," that could easily crush us to death.

And why?

He does it so, as Paul says, "that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead."

When you are faced with a situation that you simply cannot handle, that is impossible for you, that in your strength cannot be moved, this happens so that in your manifest weakness you would cry out to God, who is your only hope. It happens so that when you have put your hope in him, confessed to him that he alone is your refuge and your salvation, and that if he does not raise this thing from the dead there will be no life, you will see his deliverance.

Paul went on to say,

"He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers." (2 Corinthians 1:10-11)

Are you faced with a situation that is impossible? Does it seem like there is no hope, no end in sight, no deliverance that you can see? Your hope is in the God who raises the dead. Your salvation is in the God who does the impossible. Turn to him, trust in him, so you can see his salvation.

I believe that is why James can tell us, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds." Though the trials themselves are not joyful, there is joy in the opportunity to cast yourself on the God who raises the dead and see what he will do. There is joy in the opportunity to grow in your knowledge and trust of him, and to prove yourself faithful through the testing rather than abandon God.

He will be faithful to us.

Last night, I was sitting outside knitting. I was waiting until a specified time when I was supposed to meet someone at their apartment, so, having arrived early I did what I always do when I have a knitting project on the go and a bit of spare time: pulled it out and started working.

Suddenly I heard, "That is the cutest thing I have ever seen!"

I looked up, confused. An extremely good-looking Chinese guy was standing there smiling at me. Tall, well built, very cute.

"What, knitting?" I laughed.

"Knitting in front of an apartment building. What are you doing here?"

We started chatting and exchanging flirtatious banter. I have to admit it was a bit flattering: it's been a long time since a cute guy flirted with me.

"So, tell me something about yourself," he invited.

"Well, I knit."

"I know that! Tell me something I don't know."

I paused for a moment. I had a choice. Do I tell him the most important thing about myself, something guaranteed to stop the flirting and frighten him away, or do I give in to the flattery and say something lighthearted and inconsequential?

"I'm a Christian," I said.

His smile froze. He went silent. He looked at me warily.

"I thought I'd tell you the most scary thing about me," I said, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

"That is scary," he said. "Are you, like, a hardcore Christian? I've had a lot of conversations with hardcore Christians, because I'm a Buddhist."

"Oh yeah?" I asked him a few questions about his Buddhism, and he asked me about my Christianity. I told him what it meant to me to be a Christian. I left him with a card from my church with my phone number on it.

Somehow, I don't think I'll be hearing from him. But hopefully, the conversation meant something more than a random flirt. Hopefully, God's on his case and tracking him down. I don't know. I prayed for him.

Sometimes being a Christian is harder than others. Like, scaring away the first cute guy in ages to flirt with you by talking with him about Jesus. It hardly qualifies as suffering for the gospel. Nonetheless, I have to admit that there was a little twinge of regret. Ah well. Maybe I can start up a ministry: street evangelism to cute guys. With knitting.

Recently I read a book by Bill Johnson entitled Face to Face With God: The ultimate quest to experience his presence. It's an excellent book, and I recommend it.

One statement impacted me more than any other in the book:

"God's love for people is beyond comprehension and imagination. He is for us, not against us. God is good 100 percent of the time." (p. 3, emphasis added)

"[I]f I had to pick one word to describe the nature of God revealed in Christ, it is that He is good. I never realized how controversial the subject of the nature of God could be until I began teaching week after week that God is good, always." (p. 103)

This simple premise shocked me, not only because it is profound, but because I realized I don't really believe it. Most of the time, even if I'm not outright angry at God and convinced that he is out to get me, the suspicion lurks strongly in my mind that mixed up in God's "good" motives are motives to punish, hurt, or damage me. If I really give myself over to him, I can't trust that the results will be in my favour.

Bill Johnson admits the difficulty of this teaching:

"While most believers hold the belief [that God is good] as a theological value...they struggle in light of the difficulties all around us. Many have abandoned the idea altogether, thinking it doesn't have any practical application. The hardest part is saying that He's always good. Some will say He is mysteriously good, which is about the same as saying He's good, but not as we think of goodness." (p.103)

The more I have thought about it, the more convinced I have become that central to a quest for the presence of God, central to giving up everything to follow Jesus, is a basic and settled conviction in our hearts that God is good. Not just good, but 100% good, 100% of the time.

How can we abandon ourselves to him, how can we completely believe and obey him, unless we believe that?

One of Satan's very first temptations in the garden of Eden, the doubt he sowed into Eve's mind to convince her to disobey God, was the idea that God was not good:

The woman said to the serpent, "We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, 'You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.' "

"You will not surely die," the serpent said to the woman. "For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." (Genesis 3:2-5)

The ugly but plausible lie behind what the serpent was saying was this: God is holding out on you. He knows that this will be good for you, and that's why he's forbidding it. If you take things into your own hands, if you go your own way, forgetting what God says, you will experience what is truly good, what God doesn't want you to have and what you'll miss out on if you obey him.

Eve fell for it. And ever since, generations down the line, every single human being has fallen for it too.

What Jesus Christ came to reveal, and what reconciliation to God is all about, is that God is actually good. That following him reaps ultimate rewards, both in this lifetime and the next.

And yet, we struggle to believe that. Someone far from God doesn't believe it at all: a basic hatred and mistrust of God keeps them shaking their fists from a distance, even if unconsciously. But many Christians probably feel the same way I do: a deep and stubborn suspicion that the love of God is a happy lie, that a benevolent Father can't possibly be true, that ditching the treasures of this life in favour of treasure in heaven won't ultimately pay off.

We follow Jesus because we feel we have no choice. We know he's the truth. But disappointments, unhappy circumstances, far-off things that are starting to look less like promises and more like cruel bait, keep us in a miserable state of depression, discouragement, fear, and fruitlessness. We turn to things we know we shouldn't in an effort to stem the demanding tide of pain.

If God is good, why? Why this circumstance in my life? Why this thing that I want so badly and can't have? Why this stuff that doesn't make any sense?

There's no easy answer to that. I can't promise that a belief in the goodness of God will reap quick and easy solutions to the disappointments and hurts of life. I still struggle with questions about things that are currently ongoing in my life, and I don't have any guarantee that I will have an answer soon, or indeed, any answer in this lifetime.

But key to overcoming the hurt, disappointment, fear, and fruitlessness is a little thing called faith.

We have a choice when confronted with our thoughts, our feelings, our circumstances, and the enemy's lies:

Do we believe God?

God has said, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28, emphasis added)

As believers, that's a shining light of truth, a promise God has given us that encompasses all circumstances in our life, both "good" and "bad".

The belief that God is out to harm us or to hold out on us is a lie.

We know the heart and the character of God as revealed in Jesus. We have the promises of God. What do we turn to when hurt or disappointment threatens to overwhelm us? We will be overwhelmed, unless we believe in the promises of God.

I'm not saying that bad things won't happen to us. Promises that we will suffer are sown through the whole New Testament. Following God definitely does not guarantee that we will get what we want in this life, or that it will be easy. There are no guarantees.

Except for the presence, the power, and the love of God. And somehow, that's enough to make us "more than conquerors", as Paul says (Romans 8:37).

Paul knew what he was talking about. He had suffered and lost more than any of us probably ever will. And yet, he could triumphantly state his all-conquering belief in the goodness and the love of God.

Don't sell yourself short. Disappointments will happen. Hurts will happen. God tells us he uses them to make us mature and complete and shape us into the image of Jesus (James 1:2-4; Hebrews 12:1-13). The question is, will we believe him?

I have gone through many hurts in my life. Sometimes I've felt that God wanted to make me into a test case for suffering! (Which, of course, is not true). Looking back at my major disappointments, I can trace God's hand and see how he has used each one to draw me into new stages in my relationship with him and deal with sin issues. What I thought would destroy me has ended up turning out for my good. Even if, and when, those things were not good in themselves!

With that experience, and with God's promises, I can look at the current hurts and disappointments in my life and say, "God, I don't understand this. I don't like this. This hurts. I don't know why you've allowed it. I wish it could be another way. But I know with total certainty that you will work this out for my good, no matter how it ends up. Therefore, I can walk forward with faith and confidence and continue trusting you and doing what you have called me to do."

Faith in God's goodness does not mean denying, ignoring, or minimizing the pain. It doesn't mean saying that everything that happens to us is good. We live in a sinful, fallen, evil world. Bad stuff can and does happen. People sin, and they sin against us.

But faith in God does mean a settled conviction that, in the life of a believer, God both can and will turn out everything, including the bad, the sinful, the ugly, the painful, for our good, because he's promised. It means a conviction that our perspective is limited and faulty, and God's is eternal and perfect. What from our time-bound, human viewpoint looks only like destruction, from God's heavenly vantage point looks like an opportunity to display his grace and his goodness. It means believing what we cannot yet see, which, after all, is the very definition of faith (Hebrews 11:1).

With faith like that, nothing can shake us.

God help me, and all of us, to believe.

I discovered something very interesting while reading the book of John. I got to the part when Jesus has risen from the dead and encounters Mary Magdalene outside the tomb. He tells her,

"Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet returned to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, 'I am returning to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.'" (John 20:17, emphasis added)

I was struck by that last phrase. It seems such an odd and emphatic way of putting things. It was as if Jesus wants us to notice something.

I couldn't remember Jesus using the phrase "your Father" or "your God" anywhere else in John, so I did a search to find out. He'd just had an extended discussion with the disciples about his relationship to the Father, their relationship to the Father, and their (and our) relationship to him (chapters 13-16). That would have been the perfect time to say it, but he always says "My Father" or "the Father" throughout the whole of rest of the book.

It's not that he doesn't talk about the subject. Jesus has a lot to say about the Father. He came from the Father, he is going to the Father, he does the works of the Father, he speaks the words of the Father. His relationship with his Father is integral to the book of John.

But it isn't until after the resurrection that he says "your Father" and "your God" to his disciples.

Two things strike me about this:

First, the death and resurrection of Jesus are what changed our relationship to God. Now, "[T]hrough him [Jesus] we...have access to the Father by one Spirit." The death and resurrection of Jesus secured a place of sonship to God for everyone who has faith in him.

Second, we now have the same kind of sonship that Jesus has. We actually have the same kind of relationship to God that he does.

That's an incredibly awesome realization.

Following Jesus is hard. There are reasons why it is called “the narrow way”, as contrasted to “the broad way”.

Following Jesus involves saying no to our feelings. It involves picking up our cross, dying daily, and following him. It involves saying “no” to our wants and desires, and saying “yes” to his.

It is about believing that he alone can satisfy us, against all the evidence of our screaming flesh.

It is about saying “no” to and walking away from the things that our flesh thinks will make it happy, and choosing to allow God to fill those empty spaces, even if we don’t know how he will. Even if it seems to take him a long time to do so, or even if it looks like he’s not going to.

It’s about stepping into the things he is calling us to, even if it involves great personal cost and pain. It is about following him no matter what, in the good times and the bad. It is about having the courage to step into a place of calling, even if it means turning our back on what once would have meant everything to us.

If we’re single, it means saying “no” to the desires for sexual intimacy and deep emotional companionship at the price of giving ourselves too much to someone to whom we don’t belong. It means crying out to God to satisfy us, even if part of that involves him sending us a mate.

It means speaking the truth to another in love to help his growth, even if he gets angry with us and doesn’t speak to us or retaliates in other ways. It means accepting the fallout from another’s actions and working together to pick up the pieces (not, however, enabling the behaviour).

It means believing the truth ourselves, and speaking it to us when we can’t believe it, no matter what we would like to think otherwise. It means saying “no” to fantasy and lies.

It means being willing to be seen as the one in the wrong, even if we aren’t. It means being willing to humble ourselves, even if we don’t have to. It means humbling ourselves when we HAVE done wrong. It means giving up our lives so that others can live.

It means being willing to bear the shame of Jesus before the world and accept the hatred that they will heap upon us as his followers.

It means giving up your life, even to death.

Who will follow him? It is hard.