Well, the good news is the wedding shoot yesterday went well. It was an exhausting 11-hour day, but the photographer was lovely to work with and it seemed to be a success.

I missed out the ceremony and most of the reception. However, I went in for part of it, as the maid and man of honour and bride and groom were giving their speeches, and then the first dance between bride and groom.

It was beautiful, there's no denying. I had that irresistible smile on my face that comes from watching the heart-touching beauty of a man and woman pledge their love for each other and join their lives together. No matter how many times you see it, it never grows old.

But something struck me as I watched it, and today as I was thinking about it again:

This is not the ultimate.

For the world, if you don't know God, and even for many Christians, the love between a man and a woman is the highest, the greatest, the most ultimate thing that it is possible to experience. In terms of love, in terms of relationship, in terms of life experiences, it is the apex.

Except it's not.

As beautiful, as wonderful, as glorious, as miraculous as the love between a man and a woman is, it is only a shadow. It is only a reflection of the true love, that is, the love between God and his people.

The apostle Paul talks about marriage in Ephesians, and he concludes by saying, "This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church." (Ephesians 5:32) We are told numerous times in Scripture that we are the bride of Christ (Revelation 19:7). Jesus is called the bridegroom (Matthew 9:15).

Marriage is only for this life. Marriage to Jesus will be for eternity. We will be his forever, in a way and in a love that we can only begin to comprehend now.

But this is not just a word trick, calling something by a name to make it seem like something it's really not. The love between Jesus and his bride truly is the greatest, the most satisfying, the most fulfilling love we can ever possibly experience.

And we are meant to experience it, in a way and to an intensity that fills us up in a way that the relationship with a spouse, no matter how good, never can.

Paul wrote to the Ephesians:

"I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." (Ephesians 3:17-19)

The good news is that as single Christians (as Paul was) we have full and complete access to this love, just as married Christians do. We are not incomplete. We are not lacking. We are not second-level, or inferior. We have the same access to Jesus' love, a love that fills and that satisfies beyond compare, a love that is the ultimate love, the true love, the love of which married love is only a shadow.

I pray that you would experience it. If you're not, ask for the Holy Spirit. Abandon yourself before God. Cry out for him, until you are filled with that love, the love that surpasses human knowledge, the love that brings ultimate joy.

I'm in love. And he's tall, dark, and handsome.

No, he's not a guy. Or at least, not a human guy.

Yesterday, I went to the Canadian National Exhibition (The Ex, or the CNE, as it's more commonly known) with a new photographer buddy. It was a good time.

But without a doubt the highlight of the Ex, and worth the price of admission alone, plus more, was an aerialist/acrobatic/musical/equestrian exhibition called Hippike, held in Ricoh Coliseum.

Supposedly it's a reenactment of some gypsy legend. Whatever. I was there for the horses. I didn't even watch the acrobatics, unless there was no horse in the arena.

There were some amazingly gorgeous horses. A Friesian. Several Arabs. Lots of Spanish/Portuguese horses. A few of indeterminate breed, including a splashy paint used for trick riding.

However, I fell totally in love with one in particular. A tall, dark bay with one white sock on his left hind foot, Spanish or Portuguese. He was simply stunning: perfect conformation, perfectly arched head and neck carriage, perfect collection, gorgeous, floaty, perfect movement.

I wanted him. I fell in love with him.

I want to know all about him. Name? Age? Where does he live? For goodness' sake, can I buy one of his babies? (Just kidding, those horses go for $20,000 and more).

My photog buddy asked if I'd spend $500 for a weekend riding him. I said sure, if I had it, and if I had a trainer to work with me. I've never really done much dressage, and riding a horse like that would be a bit like putting a teenage learning driver into a Formula 500 race.

But my, he was gorgeous. I'm still hyperventilating.

Does anyone, who might stumble on this post randomly, know anything about that horse?

Listening is one of the most important relational skills that we have. Together with sympathetic understanding and non-judgementalism, it's perhaps the most powerful skill we can hone.

I used to wonder, why is that? What is it about another human being intently listening to us, understanding us, and sympathizing with us, that creates so much healing? After all, they're not doing anything "tangible" to help us, or even changing our situation.

I still don't have all the answers to that, but I think a huge part of it is that listening in this way creates a connection. Genuine caring on the part of one human to another causes a bond between two people that opens the doorway for powerful healing. Whether or not you believe in God, that's true.

We are made in the image of God. We are made for relationship. We are made for connection with him, and with other humans. When another listens to us in this way, or we listen to them, we are creating a relational connection that goes beyond the surface and sees right to the heart of that human being. It says, "I know you. I care. And it's ok."

It's powerful. That's why I think we need to cultivate it. Learn to listen, learn to see, learn to care. It will be used in amazing ways to bring freedom and release from deep-held pain for many people.

Wow, it's been nearly a month since I've posted. How does that happen?

Partly, because I'm busy. And one of the reasons I'm busy is what I'm writing about now.

Something I've been thinking about a lot lately is love.

I want to love. I want to see people as Jesus sees them. I want to have his heart and his compassion. I want to be able to see past their outside, past the shell they put up for the world, see into their heart, and interact with them based on what's really going on. I want to minister deeply into them Jesus' love and compassion.

I want to love givingly, self-sacrificially. I want love to be not about my own needs or wants, but about serving and blessing others. I want the gift that God gives me to be used to bring healing to the hurting and the brokenhearted, just as he has done for me. I want to bring life to the dying, emotionally and spiritually speaking.

As I was praying about this the other night, and asking God to give me his love, I remembered 1 Corinthians 13. This is an overdone chapter, perhaps, but it outlines the nature of true love. I'm not going to thoroughly exposit it, whatever that means, just share some thoughts.

Paul first lists a number of things which he says are no use if we don't have love. The list looks pretty impressive, in fact, they're things that as Spirit-filled Christians we long for:

• tongues of men and angels
• gift of prophecy
• understanding all mysteries and all knowledge
• faith that can move mountains
• giving everything to the poor
• surrendering our body to be burned

Now, Paul isn't saying those things are bad things. In fact, a few verses earlier, he tells us, "eagerly desire the greater gifts." (1 Cor 12:31) So what is he saying? All the gifts in the world, the greatest miracle-working power, the most outrageous sacrifice, are of no value unless we have what is most important:

Love.

What does love look like? Thankfully, Paul outlines it for us, and I'm going to put it in list form:

• patient (doesn't demand the other person change, or meet our expectations)
• kind (always lifts up, never says a cruel word)
• doesn't envy (instead, rejoices in another's good fortune as if it were our own)
• doesn't boast (keeps quiet about itself; doesn't toot its own horn)
• is not proud (but humble)
• is not rude (is gracious, gentle)
• is not self-seeking (doesn't try to use the other person to meet our own needs, but seeks to bless them without expecting anything back)
• not easily angered (puts up with the other's faults)
• keeps no record of wrongs (forgives quickly and easily, doesn't remember or bring up past mistakes to hurt the other person)
• does not delight in evil, rejoices in the truth (I believe part of this is covering up another's faults and not gossiping about them)
• always protects (the other person)
• always trusts (the other person, as far as you can, and ultimately, God)
• always hopes (looks for the best from the person)
• always perseveres (NEVER GIVES UP!)

This is the character of true love. As we read this, it's like a measuring stick: does our love (or indeed, the love of another for us) look like this?

If not, how can it?

Well, the answer is this. This list is what Jesus looks like. This is his character, this is his heart, this is his love. So how do we get this? Simply, by Jesus living inside us. When his Spirit comes to dwell in us, he gives us his nature and his power to accomplish this. We can't do it, but he can, and he will. The answer lies in yielding to him and seeking him to give us this character of love. We must be willing to allow him to break us and to change us, surrendering completely to him so he can do his will in and through us.

It's what I want, more and more.

It's Valentine's Day, and it's hard to escape that fact. For the past two weeks or so, news outlets have been filled with stories about V-Day, both pro- and anti. Gift shop window displays are resplendent with red and pink hearts. On my run today, most of the people I passed seemed to be carrying flowers, wine, or other mysterious gifts in bags. Even Google and YouTube are in on the fun, with customized logos.

I have to admit I like it. I get as mushy as anybody when I hear a good love story, or read about a married couple still in love after decades. My disinterested cynicism has dissolved into, perhaps not full-fledged romanticism, but at least a tender-hearted delight in true love. Much as I hate the commercial aspects of the holiday, a day to celebrate all that's good about the love between a man and a woman seems positive.

However, as a single with no one to celebrate, it's not hard to feel left out. My singleness doesn't bother me, nor does it make me sad on Valentine's Day. I'm happy for those who have something to celebrate, and if that's me one day, I'll enjoy it then.

It did get me thinking, though, about the nature of love.

The definition of "love" that Valentine's Day celebrates is the kind that most people in the western world think of when they hear the word "love". The sparks and butterflies, swept off your feet, sexual attraction, obsessive, fairy-tale love between a man and a woman.

There's nothing wrong with that. It's God-created, and it's good.

But to me, it's a bit sad that for most people in the world, this kind of "love" is not just the only, but the highest kind of love. In the face of a 50% divorce rate, short-term relationships, casual sex, "friends with benefits", cheating, lack of commitment, and the thousand and one other heartbreaks that can come with "romantic love", this seems risky at best, dangerously deluded at worst. And if "love" was limited only to people in relationships, it would leave singles, the divorced, and the widowed in a pretty desperate place.

That's why I'm thankful that as a Christian, I know the source of true Love.

"God is love." The apostle John tells us this in 1 John 4:8. In fact, in the first part of that verse he says, "Whoever does not love does not know God."

The mark of a Christian, and of Christianity, true and Spirit-filled, is love.

God is love.

Those who know God, love.

I could go on and on quoting Scripture verses. This thread is woven throughout the whole New Testament. Jesus, when asked what to do to inherit eternal life, replied, " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" (Luke 10:27)

It's pretty simple. God is love. He has first loved us. We love others. By the love God has given us, and its extension to others, we know that we belong to him.

God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us....God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:4,8)

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. (1 John 3:16)

By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. (John 13:35)

Love each other as I have loved you. (John 15:12)

Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. (1 John 4:18-19)

It's pretty simple.

It's pretty great.

His love is perfect, unconditional, never-ending, unlimited. It makes those who know it dance and shout and feel secure.

Real Christianity, not religious bunk, is a love-fest: God to us and us to God and us to others and others to us and out to the world that doesn't know him.

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone. And for those of you who know this love of God, happy every day of the year. All 365 can be celebrations of perfect love.